Rewriting The Rules You Were Given

(repost) how to build yourself on your standards

WARNING: FOR HIGH-ACHIEVERS ONLY

(i’m reposting this because it didn’t get the attention it deserved the first time, enjoy :)

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im sitting here in starbucks right now, leeching off their wifi like some digital nomad cliche, and i just had to get this out of my head before it evaporates.

finished a brutal 2 hour chest and tri session.

arms are still shaking typing this like i went to diamond gym.

then somehow convinced myself a 5 mile run was a good idea afterwards. endorphins are hitting right now,

so i decided to treat myself to an overpriced vanilla sweet cream cold brew and just decompress for a bit.

there’s this older guy next to me, probably late 50s, absolutely killing what looks like some type of coding work. silver hair, weathered hands flying across the keyboard, completely in flow state.

had me thinking about something that’s been bothering me for months now.

social media has created this absolutely suffocating narrative that you need to have your entire life figured out before you’re 20.

like, the algorithm is constantly feeding you 19-year-old crypto millionaires, 22-year-old fitness influencers with perfect physiques, 23-year-old entrepreneurs with multiple businesses, 20-year-old ecom kids showing off their revenue screenshots.

everyone’s apparently making six figures in their sleep, optimized and disciplined living their dream life before they can even legally rent a car in some states.

ur failing.

except that’s complete bullshit…

i’m not paying any to this guy next to me in flow state with whatever he’s working on,

i guarantee u he didn’t figure out his entire life trajectory at 21.

nobody does. nobody actually does.

the entire perspective is flawed from the ground up.

“The time that leads to mastery is dependent on the intensity of our focus.” - Robert Greene

see, what social media does is compress time in a sub-5 psychological view.

it’s presented to you in the best moments of someones fake larp reality.

most people you see making $ online are faking it or aren’t really happy

u don’t see the failed businesses before the successful one.

the financial struggles, the mental breakdowns, the pivots, the complete career changes.

you just see the end result, and ur brain tricks you into thinking they got there overnight.

then you compare their carefully curated decade of progress (or larp) to ur actual real-time tuesday afternoon, and obviously you feel like you’re a background character.

i was talking to one of my homies a few weeks ago, he’s 26, and he was genuinely depressed because he felt like he hadn’t accomplished anything significant yet.

he has a stable career, good relationship, actually takes care of his health, has genuine friendships.

but because he’s not making $50k/month and buying his dream car he’s feels life is pointless.

most people who actually got overnight success got there be either of these things:

right place, right time, right connections, right market conditions, right trend at the right moment.

and that’s not to diminish their success, luck is a component of any achievement.

but we’ve created this mythology that if you just work hard enough and wake up early enough and optimize enough variables, you’ll inevitably become a millionaire by 23.

the average age of self-made millionaires when they made their first million is late 30s to early 40s.

BUT FUCK THE STATICS RN…

you can make it at at any age, build the right systems and input enough to gain significant outputs.

we get fed this constant stream of exceptions presented as the rule.

the guy who started a pressure washing business at 19 and scaled it to multiple trucks. amazing. but for every one of him, there are ten thousand 19-year-olds working normal jobs and figuring things out, which is completely fine and normal.

we’ve pathologized the process of becoming.

being 23 and not knowing what you want to do with your life isn’t a failure,

its a normal thing in human history. ur brain isn’t even fully developed until 25.

but social media makes you feel like you should have a 10-year business plan, a optimized morning routine, multiple income streams, perfect health markers, and a personal brand by the time you graduate college.

it’s exhausting just typing that out.

i’ve been on both sides of this. i’ve had periods where things were clicking and i felt ahead.

i’ve had periods where i felt completely lost and behind everyone else.

here’s what i learned: the entire concept of being “ahead” or “behind” is meaningless.

what the fuck are you behind or ahead of?

behind who? people you don’t know, whose full story u can’t see, who are dealing with their own challenges ur not aware of?

the comparison game is rigged from the start because u comparing ur internal experience with everyone else’s external presentation.

you know your own doubts, fears, failures, setbacks. u know every moment you felt lost or confused or inadequate.

but you only see everyone else’s wins.

it makes accurate comparison impossible.

we do it anyway, constantly, reflexively, unconsciously.

i’ll be completely honest with you.

there are days i feel like i’m locked in. focused, productive, clear direction, everything flowing.

and there are days where i’m in this exact starbucks, post-workout, wondering “what the hell i’m doing with my life and if any of this matters.”

both versions are real. both versions are valid.

growth happens in the confusion.

development happens in the middle of where u don’t have it figured out yet.

ur allowed to be 24 and not know your passion.

this guy next to me didn’t waste his 20s because he probably wasn’t running a seven-figure agency.

he was learning, growing, building skills, making connections, figuring out what he actually wanted.

clearly successful in whatever he does, completely comfortable in his own timeline.

energy never lies…

different timelines can all lead to fulfillment.

there’s no universal schedule for human development.

some people know exactly what they want at 18 and execute for decades.

rare, but it happens.

some people drift through their 20s trying different things and find their path…

some people have multiple completely different careers across their lifetime.

increasingly normal in the modern economy.

all of these are legitimate ways to build a life.

but we’ve been conditioned to believe that if you’re not on the fast track immediately, you’re failing.

if you haven’t monetized your passion by 23, you’re behind.

if you’re still figuring things out in your late 20s, something’s wrong with you.

except nothing’s wrong with you. you’re just human.

the pressure to have everything figured out early creates this weird paradox where people rush into decisions their not ready for, just to feel like they’re on track.

starting businesses they don’t care about because entrepreneurship is a trend now…

building personal brands around topics they’re not passionate about because they need to establish authority young.

chasing money in fields they hate because the income screenshots looks fulfilling.

they wonder why they feel empty despite technically being successful.

they optimized for the appearance of having it figured out rather than actually figuring out what they want.

i’ve done this myself.

started get rich quick money scheme’s because they seemed like the right move, not because i actually cared about them.

tried to force passion for things that looked good on paper.

rushed into decisions because i felt like i was running out of time.

ur not running out of time…

you have more time than you think.

but you don’t at the same time.

this doesn’t mean bullshit timee tho…

social media compresses that timeline psychologically.

gotta make it by 25 or you’re cooked.

totally artificial. zero basis in reality.

these things should be valuable in ur late teens and 20’s.

trying different things. failing at stuff. learning what you don’t want.

building foundational skills that compound over time. developing discipline and systems that turns off the constant operator switch on you.

figuring out how you operate best.

none of these seem exciting.

but its not supposed to.

but it’s the actual work of building a life worth living.

i’m not saying success doesn’t matter.

i’m saying the timeline is fake.

the pressure is artificial.

the narrative that you need to have it all figured out young is a social media creation designed to generate engagement, not a reflection of how human development actually works.

the most successful people i know personally, not viral online but genuinely successful and fulfilled, almost all of them spent their 20s exploring.

they made mistakes. they changed directions multiple times.

and they don’t regret any of it because that exploration led them to what they actually wanted, not what they thought they should want.

sitting here watching people come and go from this starbucks, everyone’s on their own journey and timeline.

a woman over there working on what looks like grad school applications, probably late 20s, going back to education. not behind, just on her path.

the younger guy in the corner on a sales call, probably early career, grinding it out. ‘

not ahead, just starting.

everyone’s moving at different speeds toward different destinations, and that’s not just okay, it’s how it should be.

the comparison trap is especially brutal because we’re comparing our beginning to someone else’s middle, or our middle to someone else’s peak.

you’re three months into learning a skill, watching someone who’s been doing it for three years. obviously they’re better. that’s how time works.

ur building ur first business, comparing yourself to someone on their fourth.

they have pattern recognition and experience you haven’t accumulated yet.

ur in the blank exploration phase, comparing yourself to someone who found their direction years ago and has been executing since.

none of these comparisons are useful.

they’re just brain fucked.

the only comparison that matters is you versus yesterday’s version of yourself.

a are you building skills that compound?

are you making progress on things that actually matter to you?

if yes, ur on track.

stay their..

the beautiful thing about opting out of the social media timeline is you can actually focus on what you want instead of what looks impressive.

at the end of that process, you’ll have something real instead of something performative.

the guy next to me just packed up and left. gave me a little nod like a mutual respect between people getting work done in public spaces.

i wonder what his 20s looked like…

i wonder if he worried about timelines and milestones and all the things we stress about.

probably.

its human nature…

but clearly he figured it out, on whatever timeline worked for him.

and that’s the point i’m trying to make here.

you’ll figure it out too…

at ur own pace.

and when you do, it won’t matter that it didn’t happen on someone else’s scheduel.

you’ll have built something real instead of something that just looks good in a post.

protect your own timeline. trust your own process. ignore the artificial urgency.

ur exactly where you need to be.

but u can go farther.

anyway, this cold brew is empty and i should probably get going.

thanks for reading this brain dump. needed to get it out.

new paid post soon..

see you in the next one.

btw..

if you enjoyed this free post i highly recommend checking out my paid subs. he exact systems, routines, and breakdowns behind every post. no bullshit, no upsells just pure game on psychology and neuroscience.

every paid file is built on paid resources & built knowledge i invested years collecting. books, hard lessons, failed projects, and courses.

i turned all of it into something you can actually use.

click this if it sounds like you

STAY BLESSED

— R3

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